Easter Post (or an open letter to myself)

You know easter is all about bunnies, right? Hell no. Last year I remember sitting in an assembly (or they call it worship back in Brent) that talked about easter. For the first time, it made sense to me. I know I’m a bit of a retard: 23 (back then) and she doesn’t know what easter stood for.

Change. Resurrection. Molting. Whatever nature calls it, I call it waking up.

Past days, weeks were too… manic. Too tight. I blame it on Manila, mainly because it’s not the best place to be (more on this later), but who the hell am I kidding? I can be in Subic and still be like… Okay, no. It’s the place. If I were on the beach, or near the sea, it would differ. But really? Am I that shallow?

I refuse to believe so.

I am a control freak, sure, maybe we’re alike. If I don’t get the things the way I like it, I get disappointed, which is pointless, really. It’s like arguing with reality. Imagine getting mad at the sun because it’s too hot. That’s crazy. The sun is just doing its job.

Me getting mad or paranoid about small things – pointless. I wasn’t like this before. But I know I have it in me, the glint of positivity. Actually, today, I know I’m bringing me back. The normal, logical, happy me. Thanks to these guys here:

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Yup. Acrobats. There was this kid there, probably 8 years old. Frail. Stick thin. He’s working on his summer holiday instead of playing; working for kids like him, doing death-defying stunts to keep other 8 year olds happy. Measly pay too. Is he happy? Yeah. I can see it in his face. Perfect.
Me? I have my own space, get paid decently, a stable job, a decent internet connection;

A loving boyfriend, a supportive family, crazy friends — all of them putting up with my shit. Bless them.

SO WHY THE HELL AM I COMPLAINING?

If you don’t need it, man, chuck it. I don’t need this negative shit. I want to be awesome.

Today, April 17, is my Easter Wednesday. I’m baaaaaaack.

Theme song: Let Go

Word of the day: Chill.

I love you guys. Signing out.

Ella

Easter Post (or an open letter to myself)

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